how to be a good listener

How to be a good listener: Qualities, benefits & meaning

How does being a good listener result in making people crave your presence?

Listening has always been my favorite task to do. No matter where I am or what I am doing, my ears perk up when someone speaks. And as usual, they have so much to say.

Since we are to this day, we are always suggested to speak. And when the crowd speaks, it becomes noise and not a voice. We use social media applications, which again focus on “speaking”. (Just my perspective)

This is why I love the role of being a good listener. You can almost feel their hearts light up at the end of the session, and that smile is soothing.

I believe that good listening skills are comparable to good bullet journaling. You should be able to do the SWOT analysis of whatever arrives in your mind. But it is much more than just channelizing the message.

What is the meaning of a good listener?

If a person listens to someone with his full attention, care, sympathy, support, and understanding towards the listener, then this can be termed as god listening.

Now to do that, you need to:

  • Stop speaking in between 
  • Use your facial expressions 
  • Use such verbal sounds like “hmm” and “ohh”

To make the speaker feel special and heard, ask them, “OO Okay, I think I misunderstood you. So, you meant to say……….”.

To give you a short Good Listener Example, we want you to imagine a situation. 

Suppose you sat down at a table with me and talked about everything you wanted to share. Now when you asked a question, I gave you the exact answer you were waiting for. Doesn’t it sound special?

This is what I was talking about.

What are the qualities of a good listener?

how to be a good listener with qualities

It’s not a wodoo, but instead one can learn it as well. Here I am listing out some of the cheat sheet points so that you can become everyone’s favorite.

Here are some of the traits and best ways to be a good listener:

1. Knock Knock! Are you present here?

Many times, our mind starts roaming here and there, instead of being present in the same place. This is a big NO to good listening. You must return your mind to its original position and gain.

Tip: 

  • Keep your phone away
  • Stay away from other people except for speakers
  • Look into their eyes the whole time
  • Try to absorb the information then and there
  • Ask them what you understand is right or not.

2. Keep a finger on your lips. 

Good listening means you’re not allowed to answer unless you ask. 

You should not be:

  • Thinking about responding
  • Consider your gestures, clothing, or the makeup of others.
  • Eagerly looking for a chance to speak

Instead of making the whole part complicated and tough, how about being silent and letting the speaker put their heart out? 

Tip: 

I always turn my phone off or maybe keep it silent while traveling on public transport. This enables me to converse with strangers. Most importantly, I try to kick on the talk. This suddenly makes them feel good as they slowly start putting their everyday issues on the table. To be honest, I can not do anything to help them. But letting them speak makes them feel a little better.

The best part is that they smile with relaxation after saying everything. Believe me, that smile is priceless.

3. Respond when asked: 

Now, as you have heard everything, try to understand if they are ready to get any responses or not. Sometimes people stop:

  • To take a breath
  • To control their flowing emotions
  • To make sure they are not heard 

But consider this: if you speak at this time, you might end up interrupting their message or speaking in front of someone else.

This is why you should:

  • Wait to check if they speak again.
  • Comfort the person instead of speaking
  • Give them your warm smile
  • Hold their hand or wipe their tears.

Finally, if they ask you something or didn’t say anything for a long time, then only you are allowed to give your reviews to them. Also, make certain that you don’t end up hurting their feelings.

4. Show your curiosity:

Consider conversing with someone whose eyes light up with every piece of information you add. Isn’t that satisfactory? The same thing you should always be doing to adopt good listening skills.

Tip:

  • Maintain a straight back.
  • Put your palm on your chin
  • Incline on the table
  • Focus on their eyes
  • Change your verbal expressions frequently, like uplifting your eyebrows
  • Give them a shocking reaction if needed.

5. Do not judge the situation:

Our facial expressions convey the language of our minds. This is why we ask you not to think something different or be judgmental. For a good listener, it is a must to be open-minded and sincere.

Tip:

  • Think from the speaker’s perspective
  • Do not assume things
  • Do not climb to the conclusion
  • Make any response in your throat.
  • Give them a nod when you understand something.

6. Use a stick that is free of all agendas:

Being a good listener doesn’t mean being a good fixer. Your role stops as soon as the speaker opens their mouth. So instead of rushing to the conclusion, wait till the end.

Now, to find a good listener synonym, avoid the following:

  • Try to find out some answer in between
  • Interrupt in between

Tip:

  • Wait for the right time to provide your assistance.
  • Present your warm smile
  • Take the whole message instead of picking some

7. Ask for the follow up:

Because the complete message delivery is present here, you should look for follow-ups from their end. This will not only prove your image of “I am a good listener” to them but will make them feel more connected to you.

Tip:

  • Ask for details
  • Look for “what will happen next?”
  • Prove your engagement
  • Ask them about their feelings.
  • Clarify your doubts by asking “so you meant to say……..”

You shouldn’t be concerned about the questions because it will show that your band is on the same page.

8. Accept the difference: 

As per the saying, “no one can be exactly like us”. Hence, we can’t expect the other person to react in the same manner as us.

For the break, let me tell you a little funny story. So I laugh at everything. It’s like my brain only knows one thing in any sudden situation, i.e. to laugh. It eventually helped me a lot during my bad times. 

But if I expect someone to be the same as me, do you think that will work? 

I also cry watching movies. Now expecting everyone else to do the same will be foolishness.

This is why I say that there will always be a difference. We only need to accept it.

Tip:

  • Smile and say “You know what? We are different on this page, but I completely understand and support your views”
  • Smile in comfort even if you have a different view.
  • Your words should not be aligned on the same dimension.
  • Maintain an open mind when it comes to learning.
  • Know your limits and accept them firmly.

What are the benefits of good listening?

There are so many positive pros of good listening we often tend to ignore. But I expect you will take it seriously after learning the below ones:

1. The Advantages of Good Listening in the Workplace

  • Helps with building trust
  • People are starting to accept your views more seriously.
  • Give you more reasons to gain self-empowerment
  • It resolves many conflicts.
  • Boost the productivity level
  • Bind the working relationship even more tightly.

2. Benefits of good listening at home:

  • Higher up the understanding level
  • Increase the work rate
  • Brings self-reliance
  • Improves relationships
  • Brings people closer
  • Boost the confidence level of youngsters
  • Gives more openness for people to speak

3. Benefits of good listening to yourself:

As I mentioned, I love to talk to strangers because they have so much to say. And also, I’m greedy when it comes to knowledge.

 Here are the reasons why:

  • Different perspective means more learning
  • Brings peace to the soul
  • Helps you create your image in society.
  • People approach you with an open attitude.
  • Helps in bringing confidence
  • People get impressed easily.
  • The stories teach a variety of lessons.
  • Brings positivity to you.
  • Makes you more focused
  • Strengthens the relationship
  • Makes you open-minded

Wrapping up: 

As I said before, we are barely taught to listen rather than to speak. This attitude ends up making us feel unheard. Consider what would happen if we had as many listeners as speakers. How amazing would our world be? This is why we conclude our discussion with the hope of seeing you meet our expectations.

Also, if you feel like speaking but can’t find someone, we are always here to help you.